Monday, May 13, 2013

Hiker Flu-ke and Wedding Bells

There are some things that should not be described in detail on the internet. Like the consistency of snot... or Scientology. The particular nature of barf and diarrhea are a few more of those things. So instead of using accurate descriptors to tell you what happened first to me and then Dumptruck when we got the hiker flu, I will replace any possibly offensive descriptions with the names of kindergarten arts and crafts. There's no real logic to this, other than the fact that I want you to keep reading this and not be scarred for life.

Dumptruck and I made it into Pennsylvania on Thursday night, happy and feeling excited about getting to see our friends. My parents, who have access to this strange thing called a "computer" had helped us figure out the planning of this sojurn, including finding a SUPER AWESOME rate for a rental car for us ($65 for 4 days, whaaaaaat?! Why did I ever live in New York??), and helping us find a good midway point to stay on our way to Boston. Dumptruck and I settled into the hotel room, snuggling into the blankets and pillows and starting to prepare our minds for a brief re-entry into normal society.

4am: Wake up to GLITTER! Glitter everywhere! 

5am: Felt!

6am: Anyone up for some macaroni art? 

Dumptruck woke up around 5am to the sounds of me hot-glue-gunning in the bathroom, and took care of me exceptionally well. This bout of the hiker flu was WAY WORSE than the last time. I was construction papering AND finger painting, wheras last time I was only finger painting. I was extremely exhausted, and couldn't even sit upright without unicorn sitckers exploding out everywhere. We had been planning on getting an early start and driving the rest of the way up to Boston, but I couldn't even move until after 2pm on Friday. Dumptruck rolled me down the hall and into the car, and I slept all the way to Boston.

We arrived at our friend Adrienne's Aunt Charla's place at around 1am. We found our amazing, favorite people there all at once. I will give them all complimentary hiker names for the sake of charity. We had:
Jessica "Combustible Marzipan"
Cory "Maple Leaf Thunder"
Adrienne "Dancer in the Dark"
Jes "Rainbow Runner"
Forrest "Nightmare Jellyfish Muppet"

They immediately took wonderful care of me and put me to bed straightaway. I woke up feeling much better, though still not 100% as all I'd eaten over the last 24 hours was 4 saltines. And I'd Elmer Glued up the previous days healthy ingestion of McDonald's fish sandwich, fries, and an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips. Word to the wise regarding salt and vinegar chips: OH GOD THE BURNING.

Aunt Charla was incredibly hospitable, and made us a lovely breakfast. Then we headed to Hingham for the wedding. We dumped all of our stuff into our hotel rooms, and met up with our other friends:

Barbara "Trigger Happy"
Pierre Marc "BeardMaster"
John "Bathtub Mermaid"
Gordon "Chantilly Laced"

Then it was off to the wedding of beautiful Meredith "Hidden Monster" and Sam "Tony the Tiger." It was absolutely perfect. The ceremony was beautiful, everyone danced, the cake was superb, and there was such happiness and love that it was overwhelmingly infectious. All of their guests loved Monster and Tiger so much, and when we all blew a thousand bubbles as they climbed into their escape limo, we all had no doubt that they were driving away into a glorious, laughter-filled future.

The next morning, we all got breakfast at the hotel. Afterword, Dumptruck Paint-By-Numbered back up all of his Froot Loops and waffles. No, he was not hung over, as he had not had much of anything to drink. It was the HIKER FLU AGAIN. Well, first time for him. We reviewed our luck, in that I had gotten better just in time for the actual wedding, and Dumptruck didn't get sick until right after the wedding.

WEDDING MAGIC.

We bid farewell to our loved, brave and incredible friends, and settled back into the hotel room for a fun day of MORE GLITTER!!

It's Monday morning now, as we couldn't leave yesterday because Dumptruck was covered in paste. We're both recovered and healed, and headed back down to Virginia. We do feel lucky that the hiker flu struck us while we happened to be in hotels and not on the trail. 

In regard to our other friends: if you get the sickness, don't worry, it'll only be 24-36 hours. Avoid Salt and Vinegar Chips.

Love,
Clever Girl

P.S.
Dumpy's camera still doesn't work, but Rainbow Runner got this incredible photo of him with her iPhone. 


1 comment:

  1. Wow! The wedding was in the eye of the flu hurricane! Sounds like a great time was had by all in Boston...you are stars be able to balance so many things so well. You told the story wonderfully! It reminded me of the characters turning into yarn creatures and getting sick in the Hitchhikers movie. Love and kisses, Mom and Dad

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