Monday, July 1, 2013

Snickers: It Satisfies

A lot of people on the trail eat Snickers as a snack, sometimes several times a day. I haven't really been tempted for some reason; I usually eat granola bars. They're just too sweet. But I ate one recently, and here is a poem I wrote for Snickers:

Today, I ate you.
I have not eaten you
for many years
and when the gooeyness
hit my teeth
when the caramel
went over my tongue
it was all I could do
not to swallow you whole

but I ate you
bit by bit
peanut by peanut
relishing the way
you left a somewhat
tinny aftertaste
the taste of a factory
and nameless
faceless workers
in yellow quarantine suits
and gas masks
lovingly dripping chocolate
over your square hide

and I thought of all those times
when I was a kid
when I wanted you
so badly
but mom said no
dad said no
“Here,” they would insist
“Eat this fruit leather instead.”

And as I would chew
on the flavorless
sticky fruit
I would wonder
just wonder
what processed sugar was like
and I would be awash
in memories
of Halloween
knowing you so intimately
letting your warmth take over my body
letting you have your way with me
even though you were only
as big as a quarter
and inexplicably labeled
“Fun Size”

I would often proclaim
in the aisles of countless supermarkets
my mother trying
to get me to lower my voice
and I would imagine
the walls would shake
cans of spam and spaghetti sauce
would quiver in fear
in the face of my fury
and mother would agree
telling me that once I was 18
I could eat whatever I wanted
whenever I wanted it
but for now
I was 6
and I should get my act together
or face the cruel, cold retribution
of having my legos taken away

and now
I am grown
slightly taller
than average
and taller
than I was before
and now that I have the choice
I do not buy you
I do not know why
but I do not want you
now that you sit on those shelves
calling out to me
in your sinner’s voice
and I am not resisting
when I keep my mitts
off your lovely packaging
I simply do not desire you
and I wonder
if I ever did
I am sorry
if that hurts you.

But today, I ate you.

You were delicious.

And I will not want you again
until I am 35 years old
telling my daughter
that she cannot have you
that is when
I will want you
and that is when
I will secretly buy you
and eat you in the dead of night
relishing the delight
of cool


  1. I was the one who threatened to take your legos away (over your Mother's objections) AND I ate lots of Snickers after you went to bed each night. Buwahahahaha! The poem is awesome. Love you! Dad

  2. I agree with you Master Chief! Most of the credit goes to her Mom...I was having too much fun at sea! We're a Coast Guard family thru and thru. Cheers, John

  3. Well, really of course, the credit goes to Clever Girl herself. Liz and I are somewhat bemused spectators of not only Clever Girl but her brother and sister as well...doing our best not to screw up some remarkable people.
    Alright...I think we've embarrassed her enough! Now if we can just get that foot thing taken care of! Cheers, Liz and John

  4. I weep for your children. Love Beth